Are we?

A child who is just 9 years old and a bundle of singing talent, standing devastated with tears in front of judges and a crowd, is a disturbing sight. I am regularly watching a singing competition on television. Children between 6 to 14 years are judged for their singing talent in this programme. This sight of a child standing dazed after listening to the judges’ comments brought back the image of the same child a few weeks ago, bubbling with joy. She was sailing with high spirits and her ravishing smile was as natural as her singing. What happened to that little girl now? Can this child get back her self confidence?
This incident threw up a lot of questions at me. How much ‘self’ is there in self confidence?
Whenever I face a crisis people around cheer me up by saying, “You are such a confident person. You will surely come out of it. Trust me.” Yes, I do come out of crisis and what helps me more than my self confidence, are the words, ‘Trust me’. I too say these words when I want to tell people that they can tackle life with self confidence and I mean it.
I am sure many of us keep going back to survival stories, when we are in doubt, self-doubt. I observed a trait in all survival stories especially when people are left all alone in unbearable conditions. More than self confidence what makes these people win over the situation is their survival instinct. This instinct drives men like nothing else. That is how those who have a fear of water, survive a ship wreck like those with a fear of animals fight against wild beasts when it comes to their survival. This survival instinct makes ordinary men do extraordinary things. Though it is commendable, this kind of survival instinct does not help us during regular crisis management. What helps us in handling routine demanding situations is self confidence.
A person who cooks irresistible dishes produces an average meal under stress. A confident young man stumbles when he walks in front of scrutinizing eyes. A talented performer falters in the presence of highly critical judges. I fumble to do things I am adept at when I know that I will be evaluated for it.
If self confidence is the key then what happens to it when we need it the most? Maybe self confidence is not all about our ‘self’. It is also about people giving us that confidence. People whom we have not met directly and those who surround us, equally inspire us. They put us on our path to success.
I started the process of doing my post graduation, 28 years ago. I had to give it up for various reasons not just once but thrice. Ultimately I took a resolution to complete it and appeared for my examinations. My hands were shivering when I was writing my roll number and I had to hold it tight with my other hand. I went blank when I saw the question paper. I sat back, closed my eyes and tried to recollect what my life partner said while I was leaving for my examination. He said, “It is a cake walk for you.” I opened my eyes and read the question paper again. I started to write and there was no looking back. A post graduation degree that eluded me for two and a half decades fell into my lap with a first class. He uttered just a few words but the confidence it instilled in me took me closer to my goal. Words are not mere words. I feel those who say, “You can do it, go ahead” are as important as my self confidence, to act.
So are we confident enough to face our next challenge?